In this post I want to share my recent experience with decluttering my fantasy self in hopes that you also will declutter your fantasy self to let go of more things…

Lately I have felt disappointed about the amount of stuff I’ve been selling and donating. I had accumulated a lot over these past months and I needed to look at why?

Over a year ago we moved from Sydney to Tasmania with very little. Our previous home wasn’t very big and I had kept it very minimal for a family of 4. Prior to moving I let go of even more. We all did.

What changed?

Not long after our arrival in Tasmania I caught a vision for homesteading and self-sufficiency. (Not the first time). Something about being in a Country cottage in a small town with new found homesteading friends had ignited a past desire for this lifestyle. Suddenly I needed sewing supplies and fabric to make our own skirts and dresses. Canning equipment to preserve all of our leftover harvest. Chickens and all that go with them! Craft paper for homemade cards, candle making kit and more! Oh and pretty vintage items to decorate the home. Much of this was found at thrift stores or marketplace. (Not the chickens)!

Just typing this out makes me sigh…

Much of what I was trying to do was stressing me out and the stuff around me was sending unwanted messages such as ‘you need to finish me!’

You see, I’m a homeschooling Mother of an 11yr old and have a 3yr old. This is not the right season for me to be learning new skills and seeking to be self-sufficient on my own. In my free time I want to do things such as read and write. Make some simple home-made recipes that support my low-waste life-style. Spend time outside in nature with my family. Sit and mend some worn-out items. Pursue living with less.

A minimalist can still have hobbies & interests

It’s not that being a minimalist, or even an extreme minimalist means that we cannot have hobbies or items that go with them. That is not the problem. The problem is when what we are pursuing is not really who we are. Not what our true desire is. We have an image in our mind of what we think we ‘ought to be’. It may be a good image or desire but for whatever reason it is not right for us. At least not at this time. We need to declutter our fantasy self.

The problem is when what we are pursuing is not really who we are.

My experience with trying to do all of these new things and learning new skills and buying more stuff was that it was making me very stressed and unhappy. It was also taking away from the important things I needed to be focusing on. As I mentioned, the stuff was sending me unwanted messages which left me feeling disappointed and overwhelmed. I wondered how others were able to do these things but I wasn’t? Was I not capable? I felt guilty that I wasn’t living up to my homemaker ‘image’

Slowly I began to see that I was being totally unreasonable with myself and that in reality I did not need to do these things. It wasn’t the real me. It was my fantasy self!

Letting go of some of these items felt like I was giving up on a dream, a possibility. Like somehow I had failed because I should have persevered and tried to make the time to do these things. But when I slowed down and thought about my priorities, I realised that these things were not. I also really missed my organised minimalist home. Something I truly value.

So how do we know who the true self is opposed to the fantasy self?

This is really what we need to figure out so that we can let go of the burden of the fantasy self. I mentioned about thinking about my priorities. This was key for me. We cannot do it all and we shouldn’t try to. We can ask ourselves a few things to find out who we are and what we want.

-What are your 5-7 top priorities in life right now?

-Which hobbies, interests or activities do you really enjoy? (Not feel obligated to do).

-Is the image or idea you are imagining realistic in this season of life?

-Going back to priorities, is this activity or object important enough to keep in your life? Is it what I value most?

I want to share my current list in the hope that it will help you with yours.

My top values and priorities right now in no particular order:

-Raising my children well (focusing on homeschool, time & attention).

-Having a clean, tidy and orderly home

-Spending time reading the bible & prayer time

-Eating healthy

-Spending some time writing

These are the main things at the moment.

Declutter your fantasy self

If I hold on to my fantasy self I will not have time for who I really am and what is important to me right now. My fantasy self is growing all of our food and has transformed our entire backyard to feed our family. The real me does not want to have a full-time job growing and tending to a huge garden. I wouldn’t be able to do anything else and I wouldn’t even enjoy it. So instead I am going to keep growing a few herbs, veggies and flowers in my contained veggie patches that I can easily maintain and enjoy.

My fantasy self has a beautifully decorated farmhouse filled with home-made or vintage treasures. The real me does not like visual clutter or want to dust around the decor items or spend time changing things around. Whenever I buy things for the home I immediately regret it. I can still have a beautiful minimalist home that is easy to maintain and has a few special items hand-made by my daughters.

Finding freedom

As I release the items attached to my fantasy self, I feel relief. A burden has been lifted to be someone I’m not. I feel free again to pursue the things I truly enjoy and value. My home is again free from most of the clutter. My almost extreme minimalist goals are within reach which helps me to have clarity again. Clutter affects our mind and emotions and clutter can be anything that you don’t truly need or want.

If you declutter your fantasy self you will be free to embrace the real you!

I have let go of my fantasy self and it feels wonderfully freeing to just be me.

minimalist megan.x